ABC Model of CBT and REBT

Often we think that external circumstances causes emotional disturbance in us. But, we forget that different people react to same circumstances very differently. If outer events only made us feel angry, irritated, sad or anxious, then all the people would have had same response to that outer event. But we often observe that it is not so. Why? Because, it is not the outer activating event that causes emotional disturbance in us but our irrational belief about that event. It is not that someone comes late that makes us angry, it is the irrational belief that 'Everyone MUST be on time, everytime' that makes us angry. If we keep our beliefs flexible, then we can reduce intensity of our negative emotions. We might not feel happy when someone judges us negatively but we will also not feel terrible. So it is important to understand that we have some agency over our emotions.

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